I got a call the other day
From my friend Myrtle B
Myrtle is a a little shy
And tiny as can be

“It’s time,” she said
“For me to change a bit”
“I need to be a lot more brave.
I thought she’d lost her wits

“I need to come out of my shell,”
She claimed, “If I’m to be
A skydiver.” It made me scared.
Myrtle’s a turtle, you see.

Myrtle chose a little tower
From which to take her dive
The tallest fountain in the park
From which to risk her life

She wore a big “L” on her back
To show she was a “learner”
And off she dove from the highest bit
It was guaranteed to earn her

The confidence she wanted
As her chute opened wide
She drifted gently to the earth
Her face aglow with pride

So now she’s magic Myrtle
A turtle full of daring
She’s ready to try anything
(After properly preparing.)


I wish

I wish I could remember when
I didn’t feel so old
When looking in the mirror
Didn’t leave me feeling cold

It didn’t happen yesterday
Or the day before
When age became reality
Not something heard in lore

When I became responsible
For more than just myself
And beauty is now hid inside
Not a product from a shelf

I wish I could remember when
But no, that’s not quite true
It’s better now than it was before
And every day is new

I’ve learned how to appreciate
What comes to me each day
Yes, I was much younger then
But I’m happier this way

Cat Fur


Cat fur in my coffee
Cat fur on my clothes
Cat fur on my pillow
Cat fur up my nose
If you don’t like cat fur
Then don’t get a cat
But I can tell you truly
It’s not as bad as that

Made a lovely dinner
Meat and veg and rice
Everything was cooked well
Tasted really nice
The little bit of cat fur
Added a nice touch
Almost like a garnish
Not so very much


When guests come to visit
Wearing blue or black
It doesn’t take so very long
My cats have such a knack
Until their clothes are covered
With little bits of fur
I don’t know why they’re upset
It’s something I prefer


And cat fur on the blankets
Adds insulation too
Keeps us so much warmer
Something we never knew
So I love that cat fur
It helps us every day
Keeps us warm and happy
It’s great in every way

Chorus 2X


Aliens built a tepee in my backyard
I’m really not sure why they picked my place
I thought I’d better meet them
So went out to greet them
Making sure I used my happy face

They told me they just liked to see my flowers
And to sit beneath them while they read their books
They’d wave gaily at the others
Perhaps it was their brothers
While others sat their with their crochet hooks

But one tiny alien caught my eye
I wasn’t really sure what he was doing
My eyes drawn like a magnet
He was shooting at a target
I thought perhaps that there was trouble brewing

But “No,” they cried, he’s just the navigator
And he’s practising to get us back on track
So they climbed into their ship
Getting ready for their trip
I waved goodbye, but they never looked back

Tickets to Paradise

They’re scratch and lose tickets
Is what some folks say
But I know
They’re my tickets
To paradise

It’s the Friday night drawing
I watch the TV
I know my numbers will win
They call them all out
But not one of mine
Darn, I’ll just have to try again

I’ll play my cat’s birthday
His name’s Lucky, you see
So I know that those numbers are best
So I watch with great hope
Blast, not a one
No money for me, I’ll be blessed…

They’re scratch and lose tickets
Is what some folks say
But I know
They’re my tickets
To paradise

I’ll try one more time
This has to be it
I know that this time I can’t lose
But no, they don’t call
My numbers at all
Should’a spent all my money on booze

They’re scratch and lose tickets
Is what some folks say
But I know
They’re my tickets
To paradise

This lottery stuff
Ain’t payin’ my bills
I’ll have to let this stuff go
I’ll try something else
I know, this will work!
I’m off to Saturday bingo!

They’re scratch and lose tickets
Is what some folks say
But I know
They’re my tickets
To paradise

No rules

Why is there no guidebook
To show me how to live
Why no atlas
That holds the maps of life
No rule book that sets out
The activity for the day
No checklist
To show me how to wife

Every day’s a challenge
What do I do now?
Wash the dishes?
Do the laundry or the floors?
Maybe try some baking
Or sewing or some dusting
Where is the list
That tells me all my chores?

And so I just
Wander through each day
With no guide,
No purpose, and no plan
I live my life
As my mother suggested
Do what’s needed
And be the best I can


She didn’t want anyone to know about
The state in which she lived
So much clutter
So little energy
To clean

As so she stayed alone in her apartment
Never inviting guests or friends
Too ashamed
To show them
Her home

But something insider her longed for more
Some company, someone to talk to
And so at last
She found someone
To let in

And found that she wasn’t very different at all
From anyone else among her friends
All that time
Alone at home
For nothing