Polkageist

In my kitchen I hear sounds
Of banging and crashing and such
I’m afraid to go and look
It sounds like they’re breaking the hutch

I have to overcome my fear
Of all this fearsome noise
But then I hear some other sounds
An accordion – on steroids

It has to be
A polkageist
A polkageist
A polkageist
That haunts me

I start to hear an oom pa pa
A tuba’s somewhere playing
Then someone turns the water on
All o’er the room it’s spraying

I think it’s time to sell this house
For clearly it is haunted
Either that, or an exorcist
To clear this ghost unwanted

I seem to have
A polkageist
A polkageist
A polkageist
That haunts me

There has to be an end to this
This tale is far too frightening
I know, I’ll buy some bagpipes
Their sound is so enlightening

And so I’ll learn to play the pipes
And clear out this old ghost
To strains of rousing Scottish tunes
He’ll head out for the coast

There will be
No polkageist
No polkageist
No polkageist
To haunt me

For now I’ve got
A pipe major
A pipe major
A pipe major
That’s worse!

Advertisements