The last thought he had before he tried to do a complete turn was, “Oh, shit!” We could all see it going through his fuzzy little brain as his big blue eyes saw all the people in the room.
Normally, he would stay away from groups of people, being a rather shy little guy. But this time he forgot that there was company, and he was playing chase with another of our cats, running straight into the living room – into the middle of the song circle.
Poor little guy. His feet were so furry that he couldn’t get good traction, and he continued to slide in his original direction, taking out a music stand in the process. It was only then that he managed to reverse direction and run away from all those people.
Gandie, we miss you.



So, it would seem that your life doesn’t change overnight after an epiphany. I takes constant work, and reminders to yourself of what is true, and what is only fear and imagining.

I had great plans to continue as I started, and, for the most part, I have managed to remember my mantra: “Become by Being”. But the being part? That has been hard.

I have a checklist that I follow daily. This helps remind me of what I want to do. But it doesn’t inspire me to do it. Because, of course, I have to remind myself of my final goals. And I have to have the energy to do the work required. That doesn’t always happen.

I don’t know whether the lack of energy is due to health concerns, or due to depression. In the short term, it doesn’t really matter, because the end result is the same regardless. In the long term, it does matter. I have diabetes, and there can be any number of nasty side effects if I don’t keep it under control. And, because I’ve had cancer (Stage 1, Phase 1, so easily dealt with), it’s not difficult to come up with other possibilities in my imagination.

So, I keep working at stuff. Some days are better than others, and, honestly, most are good days. And I can’t really ask for more.


It had been four years since I started writing songs. And I am happy to note that this weekend I have a concert at a non-filk convention (although it’s part of the filk track), and the majority of material in the concert is my own!
The bonus part of this is that for the most part I will be accompanying myself (with a little help from my friends – no – make that with a LOT of help from my friends (and my husband)).
This is a part of my journey that I’ve never thought I’d reach, and I’d like to say thank you to all of you who have supported me and assisted me along the way. Thank you for your encouragement. Yes, I will keep going.

Just a Boring Stay at Home

You would never catch me at a casino. I’m not a betting person.
That is to say, yes, I will predict outcomes on occasion. And I’ve been known to be right. But playing blackjack? Or roulette? No, thank you. And especially not dice games.
For one thing, I have never acquired the desire to play games of chance. There’s no thrill in winning, and wondering/hoping that I will continue to win – to have a streak.
Second, I’ve never believed there is a large enough return for the effort involved. There are lots of things I could be doing with my time instead of sitting at a table somewhere playing cards. (Unless, of course, it’s a game of gin rummy or euchre with friends. Or maybe cribbage.)
Third, there are enough things to spend my money on, without choosing something for which there will probably be virtually no return.
For those that enjoy it – by all means – knock yourselves out. For me, well, I think I’ll just stay home and read a book.

Half Empty, or Half Full?

An empty glass is like a morning. It is full of possibilities. It can be filled with anything. 
You could fill it with milk – something healthy. Or you could fill it with an alcoholic drink – for fun. Or you could fill it, drink the contents, and refill with something else. (Rinsing first is recommended.)
And you could start your day with exercising. Or you could go out with friends. (Or you could do both, in the order suggested. (Again, rinsing first is recommended.

Life Lessons

The best thing my Mother ever taught me was to talk to strangers. 
Of course, that wasn’t when I was a child. Then, I was supposed to careful, and NOT talk to strangers.
But, as I grew older, whenever I went out somewhere with my Mom, I noticed that she talked to EVERYONE. And she had fun!
So now that I’m older, I do the same thing. I’ve had some really interesting conversations, and met some really great people.
Thanks, Mom!