Epiphanies

So, it would seem that your life doesn’t change overnight after an epiphany. I takes constant work, and reminders to yourself of what is true, and what is only fear and imagining.

I had great plans to continue as I started, and, for the most part, I have managed to remember my mantra: “Become by Being”. But the being part? That has been hard.

I have a checklist that I follow daily. This helps remind me of what I want to do. But it doesn’t inspire me to do it. Because, of course, I have to remind myself of my final goals. And I have to have the energy to do the work required. That doesn’t always happen.

I don’t know whether the lack of energy is due to health concerns, or due to depression. In the short term, it doesn’t really matter, because the end result is the same regardless. In the long term, it does matter. I have diabetes, and there can be any number of nasty side effects if I don’t keep it under control. And, because I’ve had cancer (Stage 1, Phase 1, so easily dealt with), it’s not difficult to come up with other possibilities in my imagination.

So, I keep working at stuff. Some days are better than others, and, honestly, most are good days. And I can’t really ask for more.

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