I lived most of my young life in a home with parents who argued all the time. There wasn’t much money, and we rarely visited others, or had people in to visit us. I never felt comfortable in someone else’s home, and certainly never felt comfortable with anyone else in mine.
In high school, I never belonged to any particular clique. I was a reader, so while it bothered me a bit, it wasn’t the end of the world. I was happy to be included in things, but it certainly wasn’t the norm for me.
In university – I had a best friend. That helped a lot, but with no experience dating, and poor self esteem, I figured I would never find a match.
That changed in second year, but things were confusing again. I didn’t meet up to his expectations, and, sadly, we finally got married. I was your typical abused wife – didn’t know any better – and figured no one else would ever want me.
Several years followed, and no dates. My best friend and I drifted apart (although we do sometimes keep in touch). Finally, a work colleague set me up with her roommate (she loaned me his books). I am so thankful to her for introducing us. At long last, I am with my soul mate, and we have been happily married for over 26 years.
So – am I still confused. Yes. I don’t understand why girls are taught to have low self esteem. I don’t understand why we think that abuse is what we deserve. And I don’t understand why anyone would abuse another.
I’m confused, but I’m not alone.